The Curse of the Tubular Tits: Mellanie Arlett Chapter 1
Mellanie had always been the hot girl with the big boobs — and she knew it. She was tall, naturally blond with blue eyes and a light smattering of freckles across her nose. She’d grown used to constant attention, praise, and doting from nearly every man around her. Because of her looks, she had grown used to no one challenging her opinions or ideas. She was easily offended, and that meant men didn’t disagree with her for risk of losing a chance at a night with her. And her opinions were loud.
Through the power of pure sexual appeal, she had gotten herself a well paid position in a corporate law firm in which she was simply incompetent. She didn’t believe in sleeping her way up, because that was slutty and un-christian, but using the great body God gave her was fine. The few other women at her level of employment despised her, having had to absolutely struggle to be hired by the chauvinistic partners of the firm. And one day, they complained to the company’s third-party HR about discrimination and poor representation in the workplace.
So it came to be that the firm grudgingly hired Alexander Merrevi, the firm’s first gay partner, and a slew of new women in various positions across the board. Mellanie was fine with the women…but not with a gay man. To her, gay men were one of two things: confused, or perverted. Usually, her mind would decide which category a gay man fell into by how attractive he would be if not gay. Alexander Merrevi was incredibly attractive.
The HR scare had shut the mouths and calmed the wandering hands of most of the firms previously bold employees, but not Mellanie. The partners continually made excuses for her workplace preaching, prejudice, and discriminatory language. Mellanie pushed free bibles at Alexander nearly every day, each one with anti-homosexual verses highlighted for him, but Alexander would turn them down calmly and continue on. This only drove Mellanie to further fits of fervor and rage.
In time, the workplace’s sensitivity began to dull and the bold ones came back out of their shell. Bawdy stories crept back into the break rooms, lewd creep-shots and previously private messages were shared over text, and, finally, one of the partners proposed an invite-only pool party with bikini show at a private lodge he owned by the lake. Mellanie was the first to be invited, and the first to agree.
Of course, with the rules slowly relaxing, Mellanie grew even more fervent in her evangelism to the “confused” Alexander Merrevi. He continually refused her creatively colored bible, which now contained not only highlights, but sticky notes too. Every day she wore clothes that would show off the best she had to offer, with faith that God would use her body to bring Alexander out of his misguided path. It seemed to be to no avail.
The date of the “office” pool party was growing closer, and Alexander hadn’t been invited due to his inability to enjoy the shows that would be put on. But Mellanie hoped to change that. She had little time, and her mind was speeding towards drastic measures. She actually began to research things on the internet. She spent hours trying to find out ways to “un-gay” people. There were camps, scary looking cages, electrical shock, but each of these took far too long. She needed results immediately.
Just when Mellanie was about to give up, she discovered the flashy website of an independent exorcist. For only 60$ she, too, could learn to remove demons. Even demons that could make people “gay, lesbian, or scientist.” She just couldn’t resist. Mellanie didn’t sleep that night, and barely slept the next three as she studied and prepared for her workplace exorcism.
The day before the pool party rolled around, and Mellanie had everything in place. It would happen in the break room at lunch hour, in the eyes of as many witnesses as possible. She thought maybe she could save few extra souls while she was at it. She wore her tightest, most revealing clothes, and brought all the stuff the book said to bring. She couldn’t get any holy water, though, so she just bought some IntelliWater from the local supermarket as a substitute.
When 11:30 rolled around, she moved to the break room and began her set up. A pure white table cloth, wooden crosses, candles, and the like, all hidden behind a cardboard tri-fold so as not to alert the gay-demon inside of Alexander ahead of time. People filtered in, giving her odd looks before settling down into the twitchy stupor that is the salaried man’s lunch. Mellanie stared at the door with a mad glint in her eyes.
The minutes crawled by and Mellanie repeated the words within her head, unknowingly mixing many of them up, mispronouncing them, and grossly distorting their meanings. And then Alexander walked in.
“In the name of Jesus I do debuke you now, Alexander Merrevi, and clash out the demons of homosexuality that within you respite,” she shouted, pausing to splash him with some of the water.
Onlookers were stunned silent, and Alexander Merrevi’s eyes were wide with shock.
“Begone, in the name of Jesus, Begone. Gaze upon the awesome work of God that stands before you and be ye araised by her wonders as God interests.”
Mellanie was filled with pride at her work. Alexander was paralyzed by her faith. Until he moved his hand and wiped the water off of his face. At first she was disappointed, but as the air in the room grew cold, she became scared instead.
“What a misfortunate presumption, you slattern, that you held even close to the amount of faith necessary to dabble in exorcisms. Your soul is a filthy thing, for more reasons than you can even fathom.”
“Shhh. In the name of Jesu…”
“Oh give it a rest. Even if demons functioned the way churches think they did — which they don’t — you didn’t even bring real holy water, and you fucked up all the rules.”
“Hey! Watch your mouth,” Mellanie crossed her arms, experimentally pushing her breasts further up and hoping for a correct reaction from Alexander.
“Why don’t you look around the room, you dumb slut.”
Mellanie squinted at him, then slowly glanced around the room. Every other person in the room was perfectly still, petrified in various positions of eating, all wearing expressions of shock. When she went to turn her head back, she found that she, too, could no longer move. Fear crept across her. She heard Alexander paging through her notebook on the table behind her.
“homo-demons? Really now? I mean, I must applaud you,” Alexander said, “You were pretty close with the whole demon thing, but damn didn’t you take the wrong approach to get there.”
Mellanie let out a hopeless moan.
“I’m a warlock, Mellanie. I bargain with demons, borrow their magic, and use it how I please. And you have pissed me off for a long, long time. Which, interestingly, isn’t usually enough to make me actually use my powers. But I’m a bit sensitive about people like you. People who have gotten through everything using their looks, and who have managed to continually punish the people around them with their malformed opinions and somehow, just somehow actually get those opinions supported by people with actual power.”
Alexander crossed into her vision. He wore a smug smile, with a cocked eyebrow that hinted at a patronizing sympathy.
“Well, Mellanie, I have actual power. More power than the partners of this firm, more power than your silly book and corporate, repackaged piss-water. By the way, its irrelevant at this point, but bottled water is rife with spirits of greed, so its probably the worst choice you could have made in trying to exorcise a demon. Especially Intelliwater. Do you know how they get that?”
Mellanie couldn’t even blink.
“Nevermind. I’m going to put a curse on you now, and I assure you it will teach you a lesson. You’ll understand the meaning of embarrassment when I’m finished with you, and, on top of that, you’ll continue to experience it until you’ve dealt with it for AT LEAST as long as you’ve embarrassed and infuriated people around you.”
Alexander returned to the position he started at and mocked a position of shock.
“Later, harlot.”
He snapped his fingers, and in an instant the room was warm again. Everyone was gasping in shock, and Mellanie was shaking and scared. She was completely dumbfounded. Alexander simply feigned wiping water off his face, and then ran from the room, hiding his face in shame. People murmured as Mellanie rushed out of the room. Outside, though, Alexander was nowhere to be found.
Mellanie took a half-day and went home to rest, mulling over the situation. Had it been real? It couldn’t have been. She must have just let her imagination get the best of her. After all, Alexander had almost been crying when he ran from the room. She still had a bad feeling in her gut.
Mellanie tossed and turned throughout the night, never quite settling. Dreams troubled her, dreams of strange shapes and figures, dreams of blossoms returning to buds, and buildings deconstructing to their foundations. In every scene, somewhere was Alexander.
When morning broke at last, Mellanie’s relief was like a cascade of cool water across her body. The day before was like a distant nightmare, and before her she had a day of fun, relaxation, and showing off God’s handiwork. With no Alexander. She primped, prepared, made kissy faces to the mirror, and dressed in her thinnest white shirt and best bikini.
To Mellanie’s further relief the pool party was amazing. The property was huge, and the pool was crowded with tons of people from beyond her workplace. There was flirting, flashing, drinking, and food, all of it housed in a sprawling mansion styled like a log cabin, except with big screen televisions. She must’ve chatted with a hundred men before the sun began to go down, the tiki torches were lighted, and the runway for the bikini show was laid out.
Ten girls had volunteered to walk, and Mellanie was the one they saved for last. For obvious reasons. For the first time in her life, she was nervous. The tumult of the previous day was still gnawing at her. But everything had gone so well. How could it go wrong now? She said a little prayer, asking God to make sure nothing stood in the way of her work. That made her feel better.
One by one the girls went out, music still blaring so loud that the announcer was hard to hear. This was going to be quite a show. Mellanie watched each girl go out, and her confidence only grew as she realize just how much better she looked than each of them. None of them had breasts or bodies even close to hers.
It was her turn. Mellanie almost jumped at the muffled sound of her name. The nervous gnawing at her gut was just a still, soft noise in the background. She strode forward, losing herself in the lights and the crowd, the oohs, aahs, and catcalls. She walked in beat with the music, swinging her body back and forth sensually.
Three steps before the end of the runway, something started going wrong. She felt an odd tingle at first, on her nipples. It was not a bad feeling, per se. In fact, it was rather sexual. Just unwanted and unexpected. With her next step she felt the tingle intensify and be joined by a sharp constriction all around her breasts.
Mellanie’s mind was racing. She could deal with a medical issue AFTER the show. She just had to make one more step and a flourish. So she stepped, and the constriction reached it’s highest point. She threw her arms backward and her chest forward, trying to look as angelic and sensual as she could. And she actually felt her nipples grow cold.
In the next instant, a number of things happened. First, Mellanie realized that her perfectly-fitted bikini didn’t fit. It hadn’t slipped off, she could feel the straps on her shoulders. Second, Mellanie scanned the crowd and their expressions. All of which ranged from surprise, to shock, to disgust. Third, Mellanie looked down.
And everything clicked. Her breasts were completely exposed. It was not because her bikini had slipped, or had broken. It was not because she had turned the wrong way and a nipple slipped out. It was because her beloved breasts were gone, and in there place were two tiny but large-nippled tubular breasts. In the massive cups of the bikini, they were easily visible. The bikini had only hidden them until she pushed her chest forward, at which point the bikini had simply slid open with nothing to stretch it into place.
Mellanie let out a noise somewhat between a gasp and a shriek. Some of the crowd was laughing now. Embarrassment, horror, crawled over her skin. This made her nipples harden, turning her breasts into something like fleshy bananas, only increasing her embarrassment. She was paralyzed with fear. And as she struggled in her humiliation, the worst thing that could ever happen to her happened. She became aroused, so aroused, in fact, that her bikini bottom gained a wet spot.
As more and more people looked on her new, vastly different breasts, humiliating her further and further, she only grew hornier. Her arousal was barreling forward like a freight train. And when she finally mustered the energy to stumble a step backward, one of her new, puffy nipples brushed against the fabric of her now-oversized bikini and sent her, mortified, into a wracking orgasm. On the stage, ruined before all.
Mellanie moaned involuntarily, finally getting control of her hands. She lifted them to cover her tiny, oddly shaped breasts, and ran. Her hands on her breasts, and the gazes of all the men in the audience taunted her, teased her. But when she pushed through the curtain, losing her bikini in the process, and tumbled into the room full of the other girls was when she lost all control.
Mellanie fell onto the floor, completely topless, her new tubular breasts on display for nine women, and she writhed with orgasm. Her mind screamed in protest, but her body betrayed her. The sheer thought of the women staring at her breasts and judging her looks sent pleasure through her body. Her mind fought…but maybe if, somehow, another girl came in she wouldn’t feel so bad.
But another girl didn't come in. Someone else did. Mellanie writhed and then froze, the beginnings of her next involuntary orgasm stuck in her chest like a hiccup. The other women were frozen, too, their stares transfixed on the odd breasts exposed to them.
"So you were brave enough to still parade yourself before the firm, eh?" Alexander Merrevi said.
Mellanie felt her mouth unfreeze.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for embarrassing you! Take it back! Give me my breasts back. I'm so sorry!"
Alexander cringed from her sudden outpour.
"I thought you'd hold out longer before begging. I knew humiliation would work quickly, but I didn't think it would be that quick," he said, "But no, you have a long punishment ahead of you, just like I told you you would."
Mellanie scoured her memory. What had he said? At least as long as you have embarrassed and infuriated people around you. She figured that must have begun in high school. So that meant...
"I'm going to have these pitiful excuses for breasts for ten years!?"
"No," Alexander scoffed, "you're going to have those forever. They are yours to keep. You'll just finally learn to accept your body as beautiful just the way it is in about ten years. Until then, enjoy the cognitive dissonance of hating your boobs but loving to show them off. Oh and as an added bonus, you'll find you much prefer women to see, touch, and degrade your breasts."
Mellanie could only gawk in horror. These were her breasts...forever? She was ruined! These were the hands down ugliest breasts she had ever seen. And they were hers.
"Please. Please take it back. I'm sorry I really am. I'll never judge your kind again."
"Good! Then my intervention has done something for you," Alexander said, "I can't take it back, and even if I could, I know you'd forget the lesson right away."
Alexander straightened his tie.
"Now," he said, "I have other matters to attend to. I'll see you on Monday."
"No!" Melanie's voice was shaky, "Please!"
But he was gone, and she had fallen to the cold floor of the deck that ran around the pool. Her orgasm resumed as she tried to get to her feet. Her legs, tan and goosebumped, were wobbling so much that she stumbled against one of the other girls, a blondie she had always held in low regard for her noticeable lack of tits or ass.
“Oh my god, Mellanie,” the girl began, “What happened?”
Mellanie just sobbed, pushed the girl out of the way, and struggled towards the exit. With each step, the puffy tips of her breasts dipped, no longer bearing the distinct jiggle they always had. Instead of strain, though, her now unsupported breasts brought her pleasure with each miniscule bounce.
Mellanie’s feet touched cool grass, and she shot for a gate that led to the driveway. Unbidden desires bubbled up from the depths of her mind, tentacles of primal need. She found herself wrestling with a desire to cut through the house to get to her car, to get all that attention on her undeserving breasts. Disgust and self-loathing flooded into her heart. She felt guilt, actual guilt. She reached, out of instinct, for her bathing suit top, only to remember she had never bothered to pick it back up.
Forcing herself forward with every ounce of will she had, Mellanie finally made it out of the pool area into the overgrown side yard. She winced with each halting step, barely able to make out the ground before her. She was so close to her car. Then she realized she had forgotten her keys.
* * *
After the incident at the pool party, Mellanie had noticed that she had less and less work to do in the office. Everything was as usual for about a week after the party, except for her clothing which she had drastically modified to attempt to hide the body that brought her shame. She had gone from fashionable, revealing clothes from popular brands, to more modest clothing that verged on the preppy style. She couldn’t let herself lose all sense of fashion, but she wouldn’t dare attempt to show any of her chest anymore. After that week, though, fewer and fewer of the men of the office stopped by her desk, and she sensed an out of place over-politeness that was entirely different from the flirtatious doting that had permeated conversations before.
A month later, one of the partners informed her that she would be undergoing a “performance review.” She hadn’t known those existed for her position. The review went terribly. Every partner grilled her with questions that she couldn’t even begin to answer. Every partner, that is, except Alexander.
With the conclusion of the review, the partners informed her that she was to be let go from her current position, but that she was to be provided with an offer at a lower position at the firm -- lead archivist. She would work in the basement with the archives team to keep all the paperwork organized. Mellanie stared at them, slack-jawed. How could they do this to her?
After a prolonged silence, Alexander spoke up.
“Mellanie, I would actually like to make you a second offer.”
Mellanie shot him a glance of ice cold hatred. Her lips mouthed the words,
“How dare you!?”
Alexander raised his palm and nodded.
“I understand your trepidation, but I am in need of a personal assistant, whose tasks will be far less strenuous than those you have previously been in charge of. I would be willing to pay whatever additional salary is necessary on top of your archivists pay to match the pay of the position you have just been relieved of.”
Mellanie clenched her jaw and squeezed her hands into fists. She wanted to punch him. He was insulting her further even now. The other partners were whispering to each other, obviously judging her even more. Mellanie forced her eyes closed and took a deep breath.
“I assure you, there are added benefits to being in my direct employ, including fostering understanding of things your previous position would not allow you to have access to. Consider it me offering to share some of my unique experience and expertise with you.”
Mellanie snapped her eyes open. Was this an olive branch from the proven warlock? Maybe she could find a way to undo his curse. Maybe he would undo it for her.
“Fine,” she said.
“What?” asked one of the other partners.
“Fine!” She repeated, “I’ll accept both positions.”
Then she spun on her heels and stomped out of the room.
She fumed the entire way back to her desk. Cursing Alexander, whilst hoping he had enough mercy to undo her curse. When she got to her desk, she flung herself into her chair only to hear the crinkle of paper beneath her. She reached beneath her butt, which, thankfully, had been unharmed in the pool party incident, and felt an envelope crumpled beneath her.
The envelope was yellow, clearly expensive stock, and was sealed with an old-fashioned wax seal, marked A.M. Mellanie held the envelope in her hands for a long time before finally pulling on the flap, failing to break the seal, and retrieving a letter opener from her side drawer. She cut the wax, and goosebumps crawled across her skin.
Mellanie,
Tomorrow morning you will begin working for me, as an assistant. Be aware that there is no chance of me removing your curse as a result of your work with me, however, given that you have already agreed to work for me, refusing to show up at this point might just convince me to curse you further. However, I do not wish to have a working relationship based off of solely fear, so here is a gift to represent my desire for future peace and mutual advancement.
Signed,
A.M.
Mellanie pulled a simple gold necklace out of the envelope. Hanging from it was a deep red crystal of pristine cut. Light danced through it and almost seemed to become trapped within.
“Fuck me,” Mellanie said, “What in hell have I gotten myself into.”
To Be Continued….